Why Blind Hog Truffle?

Well, here we are (finally). The first question is: What took you so long? It’s only been a year and a half since this BHT enterprise was announced, so what’s the rush?

I guess the answer is that the old Blind Hog (BH to his porcine pals on the golf course, as in: “ya rally strahped thet one, BH,” to which the self-deprecating Hog responds: “Waaall, even the blahnd hawg” etc.) has been rooting around in other truffle patches. Fertile as those other tuber troughs have been, though, we finally found our way back here, if for no other reason than to answer the next burning question:

Why Blind Hog Truffle?

Why not, for example, Blind Squirrel Acorn? Or Blind Squirrel Nut? Or Blind Pig Nut? Or Blind Politician Truth?

Although the last has an indubitably perverse appeal, the Hog needs something more cliché, with reference to something that happens at least once in a while. And as for Blind Squirrel, those initials won’t cut it on the links. As they say in Texas, that dawg won’t hunt. Come to think of it, neither will that squirrel, But I digress.

Regarding acorns and nuts, the Hog fancies himself worthy of more upscale quarry, as befits one who refers to himself in the third person. So let’s see: good initials, adequately banal, but ending on a high-end note. Yep, passes all the tests.

Having put that issue in the ground, so to speak, one turns from the sublime to the ridiculous. I refer, of course, to Donald Trump. The leading Republican candidate for the presidency has achieved that status by also being the leading media darling. Of course, he has other qualifications. He’s rich (and not only fiscally…). He’s been a star of reality TV (one of my favorite oxymorons, right after “jumbo shrimp” and “honest politician”). He’s got great hair (just kidding!). And he’s going to make America great again (maybe at least better than the hair=). And he’ll replace the Affordable Care Act with “something terrific.” Who wouldn’t vote for that package?

Well, the Hog, for one. Because Trump is a bully. Debates with him are like street fights without shivs and baseball bats. No common denominator is too low for the man. “Ad hominem” to him is Latin for “is there any other way?” (Full disclosure: the Hog recognizes the irony of making an ad hominem attack on another while criticizing his ad hominem tactics. Perhaps we need a new term: ad hoginem. A sty by any other name, and so on.) But, as Steve Allen used to say, all seriousness aside: Trump’s bullying tactics appeal to a large swath of the electorate, one that feels bullied by political, economic, and social forces beyond its control. Experience with bullies tells us that they are typically bully-ees themselves. Since they are basically coming from fear, they have a tendency to back down when confronted. Neither bullying nor backing down from confrontation when the bluff is called is something we want in a president. And Trump’s black and white approach feeds the authoritarian direction the country is already taking.

But then, take the alternative: Sen. Ted Cruz. Please. (Where else will you see references to both Steve Allen and Henny Youngman in one post?). Upon learning of the death of Justice Antonin Scalia, Cruz’s response was to insist that the Senate block any appointment by President Obama, so that the appointment could be made by his successor. Imagine this scenario: Cruz and his allies in the Senate agree, on the record, that they will block any Supreme Court appointment made by Obama. They sign a pledge (perhaps authored by Grover Norquist). Obama appoints Cruz. Imagine the backpedaling: Tour De France, here we come!

Okay, never gonna happen. But a hog can dream…

Anyway, welcome to the blog. Next up: Blind Hog’s Alternative News.

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